The Satiric Retrospect 2017
An article lead in the „Sonntagszeitung“: „Software protects children from violence“. I’d be curious to see that software. Belongs in every living room. Another miracle of digitalization? Reading the article, you realize it’s an online questionnaire for teachers...six months earlier, same newspaper: „Software brings radical students to justice.” Do you want to guess? It’s an online questionnaire…nothing against the benefit of such tools, but it’s exaggerated to present it like the latest disruption from Silicon Valley. You must know I have a website, by the way…
End of November I read about the phenomenon of the „Mummy Makeovers“: women have their fit figure restored by plastic surgery right after the birth of their child. I was much more shocked by a fact mentioned casually: some women have their baby delivered by C-section weeks (!) before the due day. Because: “Like that the belly stays significantly smaller, as the unborn child gains quite some weight especially in the last weeks.”
Plain text: these women actively decide that their child will be born as an undernourished prematurity, in order to prevent their six-pack from suffering. Are they completely…and what kind of doctor does actually play along, anyway? That leaves me flabbergasted.
Tagesanzeiger, November 14: there is an increasing burnout rate and suicide hazard with adolescents caused by stress at school, performance driven leisure activities, and pressure in the social media. What do you think a six-year-old would say about what needs to happen? Okay. Now do you know what scientists say? Omega 3 fatty acids. All the rest seems to appear totally normal to them.
In a study conducted by Easy Park Zurich as the only city worldwide got the maximum grade of 10 regarding quality of life. How this is measured? Average net wage and the average amount spent for eating, clothes, rent, and transport. Anything else? No, that’s it. So, earn a lot of money, pay exorbitant rents, go to expensive restaurants, and buy designer clothes. Why don’t they tell you that right away in all these life quality retreats?
And who is Easy Park, anyway? I looked it up. Their mission: „We help drivers find a parking spot and pay for parking.” So, their competence regarding quality of life is based on…don’t know.
Speaking of...: Rolf Dobelli once again decided to write a bestseller about a subject that doesn’t’ need another book – promptly he gets a to page interview in the “Sonntagszeitung” where he excels as a truly wise man with these statements: it is quite relaxing to have some “fuck you money” aside; his Rolex costs 6000 Franks, but otherwise he doesn’t care much about material goods; and asked about the biggest mistake of his life he answers that he should have studied physics instead of economics at HSG. This is obviously a long-suffering man. And now he is out to explain us (good) life. I can think of a couple of other people for that purpose.
He also is still around: Philipp Riederle is 22 now and still claims to know how an entire generation rolls (they are of course all the same, that’s plausible..). Being asked by a journalist how he qualifies as a representative of a whole generation, his answer is: “I am reacting to an obvious need and a great demand.” Well, even if I don’t like it: the criterion of qualification seems to have served it’s time.
In the October 30 Tagesanzeiger there was an article about reporting systems that allow to report misbehavior and performance deficits of colleagues. The lead text stated: “The feedback culture is going further and further…”. Well, this should make sure that the term “feedback culture” is burned sustainably and for years – which many people will not regret as they couldn’t stand hearing it anymore, anyway. We have truly much work left.
A Poster from the advertising campaign of CSS: „One of the most beautiful abilities of human beings: to motivate each other.” You see a man and a woman, both in sportswear, doing an elbow plank, laughing themselves silly. I went to the gym recently, but I don’t recall seeing this. First price for clumsiness in this year’s advertising contest.
Quiz of the month in the “Sonntagszeitung” from October 1 (yes, the newspaper is a good source for year-end blogs): “It’s Nobel prize time”, with a large picture of Einstein standing in front of a blackboard. One already imagines failing the questions which must be, in this context, practically impossible to answer for a normally intelligent individual. On the other hand, it raises the expectation for a true treasure awaiting the winner.
It’s a 500 Franks furniture voucher. No, not the sixth price, the first price. That’s refreshing: not a two-week holiday in Barbados, no meet-and-greet with professors for physics of the ETH – no, a furniture voucher. If Einstein would have been told that one day he would be used for that…we would have taken it with humor.
Take it with humor, too, there will be enough left for crying. To a brilliant year 2018!
